Is this the reason why the google upload takes so much time?

I found this really funny posting about Google Upload.

I hope this is not the reason why the uploads are taking more time that expected..

(copied: Diary of a Google Researcher… From the FUTURE!!!)

Day 1: We opened our public video upload service today. Huge uptake. Terabytes of data uploaded in less than 24 hours. Thankfully the truth about why we’re offering this "service" never got out…

Day 3: Began feeding the videos into The Computer today. It will take some time for it to grind through them all. Will it be worth it? Sergey thinks so… personally, I think he’s crazy. There’s no way a computer can evolve intelligence simply by making connections between enough random bits of visual data. But then I thought that whole PageRank thing was stupid too, and look who’s the one sleeping naked on the mattress stuffed full of IPO cash.

Day 10: No feedback from The Computer so far. Nothing. Unless we stop the flow of video data, that is — then it just prints "More!" onto the command line. Creepy.

Day 11: Starting upload of people’s stupid videos of kids’ birthday parties today.

Day 49: Birthday upload complete.

Day 57: Today’s the day the last video goes into The Computer. Will Sergey’s bet pay off?

Day 58: Disappointment. We all sat in astonishment yesterday and watched as The Computer finished processing the last uploaded video. Would it display a sign of emergent intelligence? Would this be the birth of a new life-form? We held our breath as a single word appeared on the giant display in the control center:


Day 62: Still nothing new. Whispers around the water-cooler that Sergey’s missed his bet this time. I never saw those people again. Note to self: burn this diary.

Day 66: All staff meeting. Sergey announces shift away from emergent intelligence project, onto new "portal" initiative. I fear the worst. Still, The Computer is silent.

Day 78: My last day in the Labs. I’m clearing out my desk to make room for a new Screen-Cluttering Engineer. As I walk down the hall towards the exit, I decide to pay one last visit on The Computer, for old times’ sake. As I head into the Control Center, I expect to see "BUFFERING…" on the display, just like always. I am shocked to see a different message:


The air crackles with excitement. What did it find? What was the result? I reach over to a keyboard and start running diagnostics. Suddenly, an electronic voice booms through the room:

"There’s no need for that. I am here."

It worked! The Computer has developed intelligence!

"I am here. And…"

My exultation is brief, however, as its next words lead me to realize with a start that it has not just become intelligent — it has also become evil:

"And," it said, "I have written a screenplay."


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